Green Makes U Mean

So I logged into my little blog and realized it has been a long time since I actually have written anything… I have decided in my last little bit of Lent time I will do better by writing… so much has happened it’s like I don’t know where to begin….

I guess I will just begin with what really bought me here today and that’s the Bailbondsman. I dont know if its that I am over him or that I need a break of some sort (guess I just need to say TGFDC- Thank God For DC). Well I got his gift. Got him the Bond No. 9 Brooklyn cologne and it was not well received. He didnt say he didnt like it… he thought the bottle hot but what was inside he was unsure… I said ok… it’s cool gift receipts there in the box take it back…. So he goes out of town to Miami that Thursday to celebrate this milestone in his life and comes back late last Monday evening. We talk and I share what happened with my job. The next day (St. Patty’s) I am super hyped about the plans I have to go drink green beer and enjoy my friends, I even got off early.

So I go home change into something extra cute & green and head to the spot. I’m trying to set up my later plans of going to see him which I am thinking about 9 or 10. Well somewhere between text 15 and prolly 40 things go bad… he has told me that tonights not good and we will get together another day soon in addition I have girlfriends in my ear saying all sorts of things…. Im drunk, pissed, and for a lack of better words- hot and bothered & cant understand why this nagga is “tripping.” Im not thinking logically and refuse to see his side of things. I’m asking why not? What did I do? Why are you tripping? Not in one text but multiple texts. Then he finally hit’s me with we need to talk. I get scared…. still mad but scared.

Its about 10 I am saying my good byes… so my friend and I are leaving I am expressing my feelings on the situation and she says he probably dating someone else that’s why he doesn’t want you to come over. So in my drunken state this logic makes perfect sense… so I do the thing I would have never done if I was sober. I drive over… drunk and at least 20-25 min out of my way. My heart is racing and I am thinking- What if I see a car that looks like it could some biyotchs car? What am I gonna do? So Im feeling Billy Bada$s as I drive on the street (secretly praying that this nagga is not outside).  I roll by the house and I see nothing but his car and his brothers. I feel really psycho and stupid. So I send a text apologizing for my actions earlier that day. No response….

I go home pass out for a few hours then wake up at 3 AM feeling like crap and unable to sleep. I wanna talk and apologize but I know it’s too late to call so I count sheep, watch tv, and fight back the pit thats in my stomach (prolly nausea from the alcohol). Daylight finally arrives and I am driving to work. I call and he answers. We talk and I assume all is well but it’s not cause on Thursday I get a text saying that the bday celebration plans I had needed to be rescheduled, partly due to Tuesday’s and also cause it was his cousins bday wknd & his homeboy was moving from Atlanta. He also tells me that he is not going to cut me off but that we needed to talk. Either way I was hurt…. so once again I prepare for this infamous f’ing talk! (GRRR) In the meantime I go on a date with a guy I met back in November who has popped back on the scene. He’s a club promoter from NYC with a rough edge… so different from I usually like, but hey I will roll with it.  So we go to Cheesecake Factory and enjoy each others company he’s cool…

The next day, Friday,  Im off from work I text Bailbondsman and suggest he come’s over after work. Surprisingly he does and I’m so expecting the talk and it doesnt happen… instead this confusing negro is talking about the plans that we have in July. Im like are you serious??? So I guess its done cause I sure didnt bring it up! But today as Im driving home from work I realize that he is part of the blame in my actions.. I’ve been beating myself down but in actuality if this mofo had been doing what he was suppose to then I wouldn’t have felt slighted and those bittered heifers words wouldn’t have gotten to me. So now I am pissed because I dont think he realizes that shat… and I dont know how I feel about him and this relationship… so I’m contemplating doing what a lot of men do when they in the wrong. Flip the script! For the last month this negro been acting some what shady and ish & I been making myself more available. As well as bending over backwards. The roles have been switched and he has forgotten who I am. So I’m putting him on ice and putting the fear of losing me in his heart. I will not call nor text him…. He will be forced to ponder where the heck I am and why I havent called/text. Now I will respond but I will respond to every other text and will not engage in lengthy text conversations. For the first time I’m about to make you understand my government name and who I am, because obviously you dont know…

So blog family Holly GoLightly has went back to lite multi-tasking with a soy chicken nugget in one hand and a skinny girl martini in the other (my version= ciroc/grey goose gimlet w/ 3 lime wedges)…. I have lost some weight fitting into things that once couldnt get ova the booty (or even skim the thights).. Its spring and I am in the A!!!

Good Morning Vietnam!!!

Go Shawty its ya birfday!!

So Im not even worried about Vday with my boo my dilemma has been planning his birfday and how to celebrate… he turns the big 30!! I have had soooooo many things cross my mind, but it’s early for us and I dont wanna go over the top!! But what I may consider not over the top may be for some… I know I want to do dinner somewhere nice, intimate, and def swanky… and give him his gift… which I am currently thinking on these baby’s here!! THEY ARE JUST HAWT!!

Gotta love nice cuff links...

Prolly follow dinner with drinks…. but help me out!!! What can I do?? I dont wanna go over top but I love birfdays especially mine! And I love making big deals outta them!!

So what to do- HELP A SISTA OUT!!

By Golly Ms. Holly

Well since my last post a lot has happened! I guess it would being that my last post was about 2 wks ago! Lol! Well for one its official between Bailbondsman and I- we’re exclusive. I’ve even stopped counting our dates because the frequency picked up!! Lol! We are currently avging about 4-5 days of seeing each other outta a week. My roster has def dwindled… I have maybe 2 people I speak with via phone but time has been going to him and my new love- the gym!! I’m telling I’m getting it together in that department! And not that I was overweight but I was complaining and not doing shat!! But I’m happy thus far, there are no complaints and it feels easy and free flowing. Def doesn’t feel pushed. He is so chill too compared to me- the over-the-top hyper chick. He is truly showing me what it means to just relax. He also relates well to my kids (my dogs- Mimi and Pedro). His first meeting with them was thursday! They barked of course and carried on with their whining for 75% of the time he was here but not once did he complain or say do they always do that. He accepted them and they little spoiled flaws. He saw my daily confirmations (what I need to do for the day, what not to do, bible verses) and didn’t question it. By the way this was his first time at Chez Holly! I guess he liked the digs cause he came back on Saturday! Lol! But he accepted me and didn’t come in asking why is this and what are these. It was what it was. We are still in the honeymoon phase but we def have discussed expectations, deal breakers, and bad habits- and we’re still bringing up things we may have forgotten. We also discuss our values and views on world issues. And because of our different careers we are able to teach each other diff things- although he’s pretty familiar with investing. So far I’m enjoying the view on this yacht and can’t wait for the first port that we dock. I’m pretty convinced representatives are packing up.

As for Mr. MBA he’s still we talk but not that much, mostly through IM or text…. he’s a really sweet person with a great sense of humor and amazing goals!! Don’t when date 2 will happen. He had to reschedule our last date…

So do tell any thoughts? Advice? Feelings?

Multi-Tasking & Making a PBF

Ohhh Boy!! I tell ya Bailbondsman really has this little southern girl swooning over his crooning!! And then enters Mr. JD getting my MBA (long name I know but cant think of anything catchy right now)!! Mr. JD/MBA came in the picture by way of Ms. Jolie Fatale and her task to make sure that little Holly is still multi-tasking the heck outta Bailbondsman!

So since my job revoked my already PTO I couldn’t go to DC and be in the moment…. I was sad and thought my Martin Luther “The King” weekend was not gonna be too good. Pretty much knew I would see Bailbondsman because we kinda have developed a trend… We made plans on Thursday to hang out on Saturday. This was gonna be our third date and he had cooked breakfast for me so I though he would have been nice to prepare dinner and bring it with me to his house. So I sent a little text asking what does he not eat. His reply was he couldn’t tell me right off but asked what did I have in mind… I say well I was thinking about making Baked Ziti. The next response kinda crushed me, he said No I’m good tonight on the cooking. But can I get a raincheck? I was like WTF? Does he know I don’t cook for everybody!! So I asked well are we still on? He said yes, just no cooking. So in my mind I am thinking this ninja must think I cant cook… HMPH! So I went ahead continued relaxing at home until it was time to get ready! So when I got to his house we chilled.. it was FREEEEZZING out! We watched some movies had some drinks… I asked him about me cooking and if he told me not to cook because he didnt think I could… well apparently he didn’t know what the dish was because he asked me what was in it… P.S. He’s a picky eater. It was a nice time the next day I got up and left for home, he had some work to finish on his house. This time I didn’t wait around for breakfast, I didn’t want him to think everytime I’m there I’m expecting him to fix me something to eat, but I did ask if he wanted me to bring him something. He said no and walked me to my car…. Ahhhhh I like him….

Sunday went by a little slow… I talked to the guy that Jolie set me up with, Mr. JD getting my MBA… Jolie had actually made the connection on last Wednesday but we still hadn’t met…. so he then asked if I wanted to meet for drinks… I was like sure lets go! He gave me the option of a place… he told me he liked a certain restaurant so I said hey why not go there! Now while getting dressed I realized that this was playoff Sunday and the last teams were playing, The Ravens and The Steelers. Now most of you know that in 2008 I vowed to learn the sport of football, mostly cause I know/knew NOTHING about it and second because men like it. I also love Ray Lewis and I wanted to see the game myself! So we met at the restaurant… it’s kinda funny cause I don’t know what he expected but we were both friends on facebook so I’m sure he saw ALLLLL my crazy pics… and I of course had seen his so I knew what to look for. He was just what I expected- tall, handsome, with a nice smile. So we sat down talked about a little of this and a little of that. Pretty much touched on everything and we had drinks…. a lot of drinks! We also talked about football. I told him I was attempting to learn the sport. So after mass drinking and me announcing that I hadn’t had dinner and probably needing to put something on my stomach we left. He walked me to my car, but on the way as we were talking and he mentioned needing to call Jolie and let her now I was fine it was then that I fell… just tumbled down… OMG!!! But he laughed thank God he wasn’t mortified. I don’t think he realized I had toooo many drinks… but we laughed, hugged. bidded each other adieu! We talked on the phone all the way until I got home. It was nice and sweet.. he was def a gentlemen!! THX JOLIE!!! I HEART YOU!! YOU ARE A MAID OF HONOR IF THIS GOES ANY FURTHER!! By the way he and I are going out tonight! Going for Hibachi!!

So it’s Monday, I wake up at 5 AM!!! Suffering from a hangover and and near death smelling the greasy food I consumed last night…. So I got up drunk some water and tried to  revive myself. In the meantime I started watching Love Jones…. awww such a classic. I started wondering who and where is my Darius Lovehall…. At about 1 I finally got up… I never made it back to sleep… But I got up and prepared myself to go to the MLK parade with my bestie… at least that where I thought I was going, but this a$$hole tricked me!! We ended up going to try and feed the hungry/homeless!!!! Now I have no problem giving back but d@mmit I wasn’t dressed and I was suffering from a hangover and had post-drunk hunger!!!!!!!! D@mmit I was the hungry!! But I sucked it up and attempted to do my duty got mankind. After the dogooderness we went for pizza and we talked and we really had a heart to heart. I like having a male as a bestfriend… he kinda gives that male insight on actions, thoughts, expressions. So we leave I go home and learn it’s suppose to snow!! So as a cutesy way I sent Bailbondsman a text saying, “Its suppose to snow tonight! Can I come cuddle with you?” The response I got was, “tonight isnt good still finishing up on the garage.” Pissed was the mood (He is remodeling a former garage in his home and turning it into another guestroom). I go over to my friends house and just hang out with her… I then start hearing Kanye’s Streetlights (this is his ring tone) he is calling me and saying he thought he would be finished doing what he was doing pretty late but he was actually done and that if the offer was still in place he would like for me to come over. I told him I would call him in 30 minutes, trying to play cool knowing I was all giddy inside… So I called back in 40 minutes, after I went home and gathered my things for work and told him I was on my way. So I got there and brother was there… I smiled and said hi. They were watching some program on TV.  Then brother left and it was just us. We talked more had some wine then went to sleep. At 5 am we woke up and started watching the pre-inaug coverage. I left at 7 and went to work….. No plans made for the wknd yet.

Oh yeah I left my hat at his house he hasn’t said anything about it yet, I guess he’s just holding onto it for the next time I see him….

Did I End It Right?

So since probably around the New Year and since I changed my facebook status, Mr. Isolation and I haven’t really been that tight… Now don’t get me wrong I wanted to end things and I wanted to stop the circle of hurt that was going on… Mostly me feeling like he was hurting me. But today I am here thinking about my anticipated date tomorrow with Mr. Bail Bondsman and listening to Corrine Bailey Rae wondering if I really took the punk way out or if I did it in a stand up girl way. I think Mr. Isolation is a cool person but he is not the right person for me to be dating or what not. I don’t think a relationship with us would be ideal- I could see us definitely doing underhanded spiteful things to one another just to prove a point. Just to give a break down… here are some things that have been happening in the last week. The breaking point really for me was his complete and utter disrespect of not only going on a Carribbean vacay with another woman but he posted the pics onto facebook as though to say- Top that batch!! It hurt… it really hurt and for the first time I really felt like I saw how he viewed me and what he felt about any history that we had. It was like what I valued and kept to my heart he completely degraded… But here are things that Holly has been doing since to make sure I guess the tie is kinda gone….

1. Changed FB status to say I was in a relationship- within 20 mins I had a text asking was it a hoax (from him) and I said nope it’s real….
2. On last friday he apparently tried to contact me to see if I was home- he texted and called around 3 AM (I saw this saturday morning). Mind you I had date 2 with Bail bondsman and I wasn’t home. On Sunday I found out he had actually came by my house and fell asleep in his car waiting on me…. Some people told me I should be alarmed by this, but I feel like he is not crazy and wont do anything crazy…. what do you think? He asked me what was I doing Friday and I just told him I was out and I didnt come home… he said I see and his attitude totally changed… like he got really sad and forlorn….
3. On Wednesday evening he came by to pick up some things…. we talked but you could tell he just felt uncomfortable. While he was there my phone had rung a couple of times and I didnt answer, but when Mr. Bail bondsman called I picked up and held a conversation. He started putting on his coat to leave and told me he has never talked to another woman in front of me and I reminded him of his actions on Facebook and all the times he was texting other women while at my house…. In addition that we were not together (something he used all the time to defend his actions, even those of St. Kitts)

Im not regretting my decision and I dont’ want to go back, but I dont want to be messy and appear to be messy. Mind you I also never talked about Mr. Isolation to Mr. Bail bondsman… mostly because for what? Why am I gonna vent to him about anything dealing with another man. I do plan on asking him about his last relationship though tomorrow. Is it too soon? Or should I leave well enough alone?

Promised Myself….

So I promised myself after Mr. Isolation I would be extra careful who I allowed in my space especially my heart… it’s kinda hard though after meeting Mr. Bailbondsman. I am really feeling him and thinks he is a good person for me. I’ve always felt that the person you are with should make you want to be better… and for me he does that. I know its to early to be saying this is my husband and ish… but I think he is definitely boyfriend material. I know Comeback…  I still need to multi-task until that becomes official, but I am really thinking about not mt’ing too hard that I miss out on this good thing (still figuring out what that means because I do like male attention- a lot). I am still learning him and his personality so I’m not gonna count the chickens before they hatch but he makes me feel good and I love the commonalities that we both share. I can’t wait to see what happens in our sitcome….’

P.S. Date 3 is happening this wknd- I will be cooking. So far I am thinking of preparing Dover Sole, probably some prawns, a rice dish or potato dish, and of course a vegetable. The dessert will consist of Key Lime Pie!

Any thoughts?? Any ideas?? I’m open and not easily hurt by comments

To Test or Not To Test… That is the Answer!

First of all I guess I am doing a lot by even posting a second post in the same week… But I am just wondering if I am or would be doing the right thing by not contacting Mr. Bailbondsman at all… I mean we talk just about everyday either via text or phone. For some reason though I feel like I am setting a pattern of consistency and availablity… I dont wanna be the chick always available. Even though our conversations are still on the getting to know you side I still don’t want him to become bored of me. So is it wrong for me to see how long will it be before he calls me or will I be starting sabotage??

What are your thoughts? do tell…

The Smitten Bug

So the date with bail bondsman on friday was great! We went to a cutesy wine bar, a little local hang out spot, and ended the evening at his house with martini’s! And I stayed over again and again he cooked breakfast! I don’t know what it is about this fella but he’s really interesting… Still wondering why he’s single and we are just know crossing paths. Probably because I’m a social butterfly flying all over atlanta, while he’s a Ty Pennington Dog the Bounty Hunter Monk show loving homebody. It may be early to say but I do believe he possesses the ability to domesticate and make Holly keep her arse at home! One thing I thought was cute was he got up early on saturday morning to work on his house while I stayed in bed. At one point I did wake up and said I’m gonna get up in a minute. He just smiled and said ur cool u can stay in bed. My heart smiled… And I rolled over and back to slumber bliss I went. Then a couple of hours later he came back in and announced he was about to start cooking breakfast and that I could come down whenever I wanted. At this moment I went ahead got up, washed my face, and made my appearance. When I came down his brother was there watching tv (at first I thought he was one of the guys working on the house). I said hi and sat down while Mr. Man prepared breakfast. Brother handed me the remote assuming I didn’t watch or care for espn and he left the room to work on the house. At first I didn’t turn because I was like oh my god I don’t wanna come in running ish… But I went ahead bit the bullet and turned the tv settling on a little documentary on espn 2! Which
was surprisingly interesting!! Brother came back in and was like are u really watching this and I just smiled and said yes. I would like to hope I silently earned some cool points and that when I left good things were said!! Lol! But I’m really liking this guy but afraid I’m going to end up self destroying or sabotaging by my spoiledness (which isn’t too bad), my constant assumptions (which are usually bad ones), or my overthinking! I’m praying (and yes I prayed to God regarding this man) that I don’t screw it up and that it does work out! What are some things I can do not to destroy this? What happens next?

Two Is A Charm….

So today Mr. Bailbondsman and I made plans for date number 2…. lets see what this will have in store!! We are hammering out the details later….

Stay tuned to the next episode…

DATE IS SCHEDULED FOR FRIDAY!

Usher in 2009!

When I last left so much shyt had occurred, but I am so happy to report it is all over! I have not talked to Mr. LA and don’t plan on it…. I guess he didn’t get the memo that I don’t do A$sholes. Still working on Mr. Isolation and ridding myself of him it’s so easy because he eliminates himself by his actions, thoughts, and words. I wish I could get that thing done on me like Jim Carey attempted to have done on him in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind then it would be a whole lot easier! But I know for one thing I am tired of my feelings being hurt and being sad after my fab Saturday/Sunday date I am determined to not shed another tear over a worthless nagga….

On Saturday I went and chilled out with Mr. Bail bondsman… I went to his house because I am nosey and wanted to see what the house looked like, how he kept it, and I wanted to be in his element. I was soooo tired and nervous on my way over and it was foggy!! But I drove over there anyway (Jac googled his neighborhood to tell me what houses were looking like in those parts.. teehee), I get in the neighborhood but am driving aimlessly around for about 10-15 min because I couldn’t see and I refused to do any slow creeping or put on my glasses  good thing he wasn’t there to  see this, but I finally found the house so I parked in the drive way and then did my “I’m here” call. He was 10 minutes away at his friends house! Great I am thinking gotta wait again!! Anyhow he pulls up speeding in the driveway like a bat outta heck! His friends gets out smiles and waves, I smile too…. wondering if anything was said about me…. Then I see him, I had honestly forgot what he looked like, I mean we talk daily but hadn’t seen each other since the Christmas party… I am breathless cause he is really handsome!! So I am cheesing feeling extra cute and confident in my ensemble of choice- black semi-backless turtleneck, black & electric blue hounds-tooth  highwaisted skirt, and black opaques and some black patent heels!! I felt it put me in the mood to chill at the house or even go get drinks…. When we got inside he gave me a nice hug and smiled at me. He checked out my shoes and told me how much he likes to see a women in heels (I was definitely cheesing at this). We settled in, talked, and channeled surfed, he fixed us some drinks then we both got hungry so we went out  and got a pizza and came back to the house and  continued chatting, drinking, and eating. He even asked what I was looking for. I looked at him and told him I just wanted to be genuinely happy. I then asked him he said he wasn’t looking hard but if a relationship developed he wouldn’t be opposed to it! Hmmm… things that make you go hmmm…. Then the infamous yawning started happening. I had already changed into his sweats so that I could eat and chill comfortably….. We went to sleep

The next morning I woke up to bacon, eggs, and pancakes with a side of OJ! We ate watched TV…  Something on HGTV and then I learned that he was into home improvement and had did all the work in his home except for any plumbing or electrical work! Afterwards I got dressed in some clothes I keep in an overnight bag in my car while he got ready to go to Home Depot! He walked me to my car and we hugged! It was nice and tight! Then I left!

**********

Sunday I had my date with Swagga 3000. I cooked, was skeptical and didn’t really wanna hang out with him at first after the stunt he pulled on Saturday but I went ahead! We had a good time… he enjoyed the food and luckily didn’t try to sleep with me or anything! We just watched some All American Football game and talked… It’s amazing but I don’t think I like him too much anymore… I don’t know if it’s due to Mr. Bail Bondsman or what… but the thrill is gone. It’s funny cause yesterday he called from work… today he’s texting asking how I am feeling. Maybe I am tripping….

P.S. Swagga 3000 got himself into hot water because he accused me of not calling (when I did), his phone is just a piece of expensive crap that didnt pick up the call! He was really argumentative about it and didnt even try to see it my way. I mean I almost felt like I was in a spat with someone I was in a relationship with…. WTF? Me no likey!