Green Makes U Mean

So I logged into my little blog and realized it has been a long time since I actually have written anything… I have decided in my last little bit of Lent time I will do better by writing… so much has happened it’s like I don’t know where to begin….

I guess I will just begin with what really bought me here today and that’s the Bailbondsman. I dont know if its that I am over him or that I need a break of some sort (guess I just need to say TGFDC- Thank God For DC). Well I got his gift. Got him the Bond No. 9 Brooklyn cologne and it was not well received. He didnt say he didnt like it… he thought the bottle hot but what was inside he was unsure… I said ok… it’s cool gift receipts there in the box take it back…. So he goes out of town to Miami that Thursday to celebrate this milestone in his life and comes back late last Monday evening. We talk and I share what happened with my job. The next day (St. Patty’s) I am super hyped about the plans I have to go drink green beer and enjoy my friends, I even got off early.

So I go home change into something extra cute & green and head to the spot. I’m trying to set up my later plans of going to see him which I am thinking about 9 or 10. Well somewhere between text 15 and prolly 40 things go bad… he has told me that tonights not good and we will get together another day soon in addition I have girlfriends in my ear saying all sorts of things…. Im drunk, pissed, and for a lack of better words- hot and bothered & cant understand why this nagga is “tripping.” Im not thinking logically and refuse to see his side of things. I’m asking why not? What did I do? Why are you tripping? Not in one text but multiple texts. Then he finally hit’s me with we need to talk. I get scared…. still mad but scared.

Its about 10 I am saying my good byes… so my friend and I are leaving I am expressing my feelings on the situation and she says he probably dating someone else that’s why he doesn’t want you to come over. So in my drunken state this logic makes perfect sense… so I do the thing I would have never done if I was sober. I drive over… drunk and at least 20-25 min out of my way. My heart is racing and I am thinking- What if I see a car that looks like it could some biyotchs car? What am I gonna do? So Im feeling Billy Bada$s as I drive on the street (secretly praying that this nagga is not outside).  I roll by the house and I see nothing but his car and his brothers. I feel really psycho and stupid. So I send a text apologizing for my actions earlier that day. No response….

I go home pass out for a few hours then wake up at 3 AM feeling like crap and unable to sleep. I wanna talk and apologize but I know it’s too late to call so I count sheep, watch tv, and fight back the pit thats in my stomach (prolly nausea from the alcohol). Daylight finally arrives and I am driving to work. I call and he answers. We talk and I assume all is well but it’s not cause on Thursday I get a text saying that the bday celebration plans I had needed to be rescheduled, partly due to Tuesday’s and also cause it was his cousins bday wknd & his homeboy was moving from Atlanta. He also tells me that he is not going to cut me off but that we needed to talk. Either way I was hurt…. so once again I prepare for this infamous f’ing talk! (GRRR) In the meantime I go on a date with a guy I met back in November who has popped back on the scene. He’s a club promoter from NYC with a rough edge… so different from I usually like, but hey I will roll with it.  So we go to Cheesecake Factory and enjoy each others company he’s cool…

The next day, Friday,  Im off from work I text Bailbondsman and suggest he come’s over after work. Surprisingly he does and I’m so expecting the talk and it doesnt happen… instead this confusing negro is talking about the plans that we have in July. Im like are you serious??? So I guess its done cause I sure didnt bring it up! But today as Im driving home from work I realize that he is part of the blame in my actions.. I’ve been beating myself down but in actuality if this mofo had been doing what he was suppose to then I wouldn’t have felt slighted and those bittered heifers words wouldn’t have gotten to me. So now I am pissed because I dont think he realizes that shat… and I dont know how I feel about him and this relationship… so I’m contemplating doing what a lot of men do when they in the wrong. Flip the script! For the last month this negro been acting some what shady and ish & I been making myself more available. As well as bending over backwards. The roles have been switched and he has forgotten who I am. So I’m putting him on ice and putting the fear of losing me in his heart. I will not call nor text him…. He will be forced to ponder where the heck I am and why I havent called/text. Now I will respond but I will respond to every other text and will not engage in lengthy text conversations. For the first time I’m about to make you understand my government name and who I am, because obviously you dont know…

So blog family Holly GoLightly has went back to lite multi-tasking with a soy chicken nugget in one hand and a skinny girl martini in the other (my version= ciroc/grey goose gimlet w/ 3 lime wedges)…. I have lost some weight fitting into things that once couldnt get ova the booty (or even skim the thights).. Its spring and I am in the A!!!

Good Morning Vietnam!!!