Green Makes U Mean

So I logged into my little blog and realized it has been a long time since I actually have written anything… I have decided in my last little bit of Lent time I will do better by writing… so much has happened it’s like I don’t know where to begin….

I guess I will just begin with what really bought me here today and that’s the Bailbondsman. I dont know if its that I am over him or that I need a break of some sort (guess I just need to say TGFDC- Thank God For DC). Well I got his gift. Got him the Bond No. 9 Brooklyn cologne and it was not well received. He didnt say he didnt like it… he thought the bottle hot but what was inside he was unsure… I said ok… it’s cool gift receipts there in the box take it back…. So he goes out of town to Miami that Thursday to celebrate this milestone in his life and comes back late last Monday evening. We talk and I share what happened with my job. The next day (St. Patty’s) I am super hyped about the plans I have to go drink green beer and enjoy my friends, I even got off early.

So I go home change into something extra cute & green and head to the spot. I’m trying to set up my later plans of going to see him which I am thinking about 9 or 10. Well somewhere between text 15 and prolly 40 things go bad… he has told me that tonights not good and we will get together another day soon in addition I have girlfriends in my ear saying all sorts of things…. Im drunk, pissed, and for a lack of better words- hot and bothered & cant understand why this nagga is “tripping.” Im not thinking logically and refuse to see his side of things. I’m asking why not? What did I do? Why are you tripping? Not in one text but multiple texts. Then he finally hit’s me with we need to talk. I get scared…. still mad but scared.

Its about 10 I am saying my good byes… so my friend and I are leaving I am expressing my feelings on the situation and she says he probably dating someone else that’s why he doesn’t want you to come over. So in my drunken state this logic makes perfect sense… so I do the thing I would have never done if I was sober. I drive over… drunk and at least 20-25 min out of my way. My heart is racing and I am thinking- What if I see a car that looks like it could some biyotchs car? What am I gonna do? So Im feeling Billy Bada$s as I drive on the street (secretly praying that this nagga is not outside).  I roll by the house and I see nothing but his car and his brothers. I feel really psycho and stupid. So I send a text apologizing for my actions earlier that day. No response….

I go home pass out for a few hours then wake up at 3 AM feeling like crap and unable to sleep. I wanna talk and apologize but I know it’s too late to call so I count sheep, watch tv, and fight back the pit thats in my stomach (prolly nausea from the alcohol). Daylight finally arrives and I am driving to work. I call and he answers. We talk and I assume all is well but it’s not cause on Thursday I get a text saying that the bday celebration plans I had needed to be rescheduled, partly due to Tuesday’s and also cause it was his cousins bday wknd & his homeboy was moving from Atlanta. He also tells me that he is not going to cut me off but that we needed to talk. Either way I was hurt…. so once again I prepare for this infamous f’ing talk! (GRRR) In the meantime I go on a date with a guy I met back in November who has popped back on the scene. He’s a club promoter from NYC with a rough edge… so different from I usually like, but hey I will roll with it.  So we go to Cheesecake Factory and enjoy each others company he’s cool…

The next day, Friday,  Im off from work I text Bailbondsman and suggest he come’s over after work. Surprisingly he does and I’m so expecting the talk and it doesnt happen… instead this confusing negro is talking about the plans that we have in July. Im like are you serious??? So I guess its done cause I sure didnt bring it up! But today as Im driving home from work I realize that he is part of the blame in my actions.. I’ve been beating myself down but in actuality if this mofo had been doing what he was suppose to then I wouldn’t have felt slighted and those bittered heifers words wouldn’t have gotten to me. So now I am pissed because I dont think he realizes that shat… and I dont know how I feel about him and this relationship… so I’m contemplating doing what a lot of men do when they in the wrong. Flip the script! For the last month this negro been acting some what shady and ish & I been making myself more available. As well as bending over backwards. The roles have been switched and he has forgotten who I am. So I’m putting him on ice and putting the fear of losing me in his heart. I will not call nor text him…. He will be forced to ponder where the heck I am and why I havent called/text. Now I will respond but I will respond to every other text and will not engage in lengthy text conversations. For the first time I’m about to make you understand my government name and who I am, because obviously you dont know…

So blog family Holly GoLightly has went back to lite multi-tasking with a soy chicken nugget in one hand and a skinny girl martini in the other (my version= ciroc/grey goose gimlet w/ 3 lime wedges)…. I have lost some weight fitting into things that once couldnt get ova the booty (or even skim the thights).. Its spring and I am in the A!!!

Good Morning Vietnam!!!

Did I End It Right?

So since probably around the New Year and since I changed my facebook status, Mr. Isolation and I haven’t really been that tight… Now don’t get me wrong I wanted to end things and I wanted to stop the circle of hurt that was going on… Mostly me feeling like he was hurting me. But today I am here thinking about my anticipated date tomorrow with Mr. Bail Bondsman and listening to Corrine Bailey Rae wondering if I really took the punk way out or if I did it in a stand up girl way. I think Mr. Isolation is a cool person but he is not the right person for me to be dating or what not. I don’t think a relationship with us would be ideal- I could see us definitely doing underhanded spiteful things to one another just to prove a point. Just to give a break down… here are some things that have been happening in the last week. The breaking point really for me was his complete and utter disrespect of not only going on a Carribbean vacay with another woman but he posted the pics onto facebook as though to say- Top that batch!! It hurt… it really hurt and for the first time I really felt like I saw how he viewed me and what he felt about any history that we had. It was like what I valued and kept to my heart he completely degraded… But here are things that Holly has been doing since to make sure I guess the tie is kinda gone….

1. Changed FB status to say I was in a relationship- within 20 mins I had a text asking was it a hoax (from him) and I said nope it’s real….
2. On last friday he apparently tried to contact me to see if I was home- he texted and called around 3 AM (I saw this saturday morning). Mind you I had date 2 with Bail bondsman and I wasn’t home. On Sunday I found out he had actually came by my house and fell asleep in his car waiting on me…. Some people told me I should be alarmed by this, but I feel like he is not crazy and wont do anything crazy…. what do you think? He asked me what was I doing Friday and I just told him I was out and I didnt come home… he said I see and his attitude totally changed… like he got really sad and forlorn….
3. On Wednesday evening he came by to pick up some things…. we talked but you could tell he just felt uncomfortable. While he was there my phone had rung a couple of times and I didnt answer, but when Mr. Bail bondsman called I picked up and held a conversation. He started putting on his coat to leave and told me he has never talked to another woman in front of me and I reminded him of his actions on Facebook and all the times he was texting other women while at my house…. In addition that we were not together (something he used all the time to defend his actions, even those of St. Kitts)

Im not regretting my decision and I dont’ want to go back, but I dont want to be messy and appear to be messy. Mind you I also never talked about Mr. Isolation to Mr. Bail bondsman… mostly because for what? Why am I gonna vent to him about anything dealing with another man. I do plan on asking him about his last relationship though tomorrow. Is it too soon? Or should I leave well enough alone?

Are U Serious??

So as always my weekend was pretty darn eventful! Heck it pretty much started on Thursday! I went out and partied and hung out with friends as usual, even stepped out the box a little… Thursday Mr. Isolation came into town… he has kinda taken a permanent leave of absence from his job so I guess he’ll be in Atlanta more but after today’s event I don’t care anymore, but Thursday was Secret Santa exchange at the job… everyone knows I love pink and apparently someone thought it was a good idea to give me pink stud earrings! Let me just say not a good look at all… but I wore them on Friday to show that I was appreciative. But I went out with Mr. Isolation on Thursday went to a spot that majority of everyone goes… we had an OK time… I guess. One guy approached me in his face, for some reason he thought about bucking the dude. Why, I don’t know as he has often reminded me- we aren’t together! But I think I really showed him in a way that my heart isn’t there anymore, there is a lot of distance there. I also met a guy there who seems pretty cool, I finally contacted him today because I didn’t give him my information and we spoke briefly. He is a Professor at both Emory and Strayer University, surprising because he looked really young, but I guess looks can be deceiving and only time will tell whether he will hang himself or not!

Fridays adventure consisted of getting together with some college friends. It was about 40 of us at a new lounge here! The best part about this night was that is was so warm so I was able to wear a little jumper that I had! Here’s one pic hopefully I will be able to find the rest there were at least a thousand taken by event photogs! This particular day Mr. LA and Mr. Isolation were in town- at the same time. Mr. LA was suppose to come through to the lounge but didn’t make it… Mr. Isolation did and he and I got into an argument- pretty bad from what I heard.. I don’t remember the details! But I ended up leaving that spot and going over to another spot that Mr. LA was and apparently my homegirl was rude to his friend and again I don’t know the details but Mr. LA made sure to tell me my homegirl was rude and that maybe she was having a bad night. I didn’t have the heart to tell him maybe your homeboy was lame! After leaving the spot from here I went home, Mr. LA was suppose to come over! I was kinda wasted though, I had soooo much to drink. But in preparation for him I left my door unlocked. At sometime I woke and saw Mr. Isolation at the foot of my bed. I think I went straight into panic mode- like WTF? Why are you here? Mr. LA is coming over- blah, blah, blah! I even called Mr. LA while Mr. Isolation was standing there to confirm his arrival to my house. Mr. Isolation left right after and I went back to sleep in my bed by myself. Which turned out to be good because I had to make a visit to the porcelain god due to my overindulgence! But tonight is the night I stepped outside of the box, I actually exchanged info with a guy wearing a grill and about 3 chains. I asked him for a card and surprisingly he had one that stated he was a jeweler specializing in you guessed it- GRILLZ!

So Saturday came! Boy talk about a headache! I went ahead and got up ran my errands, met my friend for lunch and started calculating my plans for this day. Tonight was the night I was suppose to get with Swagga 3000 we had talked but never mentioned the plans and I definitely decided in my mind it wasn’t gonna be me, but after my friend called wanting to get out I went ahead and asked him if we were still on. I was a little disappointed by his response but respected the honesty. He suggested that we should get together when he came back from the holidays because he was low on funds! I was ok with this because he could have just assumed that I was gonna foot the bill. So that’s what happened with that… and with the cancellation of those plans my friend and I ended up with Mr. Grillz and his crew at a club in VIP sipping on Champagne, Hennessey, and Corona’s. It was so hood and this nagga was soooo disrespectful! I think he might have hollered at almost every chick in the venue! After about an hour and half I couldn’t take anymore I left his trifling arse! He followed me out of the club too and couldn’t understand why I was pissed!! He thought he was well within his rights! I went home intoxicated and pissed. This night Mr. LA came over we didn’t get down with the get down but instead talked. He told me our situation wasn’t based on sex… all I could do was smirk…. he thinks his a$$holeish nature is okay too! So another night I went to sleep untouched.

Hallelujah its Sunday I am tired and all I wanna do is sleep, relax, and get ready for tomorrow. Instead I was getting ready for my friends boyfriends Christmas party and watching Alice in Wonderland. In hindsight I’m glad I went! I had a great time met two guys here a bail bonds man and another guy who didn’t tell me his occupation (should this be my clue?). Also Mr. Isolation popped up here it’s like he knows when I am vulnerable and other stuff. So he comes we laugh and he acts like Friday never happened, heck I guess I do too! And oh yeah Mr. Essence canceled on the plans talking about wait until after the holidays when I don’t have my daughter…. WTF? As if! DELETE

Today all heck breaks loose I find out this nagga (Mr. Isolation) has went on a vacay to St. Kitts with another female and has posted the pics onto Facebook….. W-T-F???? And when I call to rant and rave he just reminds me we aren’t in a relationship and that he is in his rights! After the series of events this wknd and especially today I have decided I am tired of hearing about everyone else’s rights and will definitely be making sure MY RIGHTS are known and understood. As for Mr. Isolation, the bridge was burned today…. it’s so hard to say good bye, but it’s easy to say hello to new beginnings.

My Friends and I on Friday!