So I logged into my little blog and realized it has been a long time since I actually have written anything… I have decided in my last little bit of Lent time I will do better by writing… so much has happened it’s like I don’t know where to begin….
I guess I will just begin with what really bought me here today and that’s the Bailbondsman. I dont know if its that I am over him or that I need a break of some sort (guess I just need to say TGFDC- Thank God For DC). Well I got his gift. Got him the Bond No. 9 Brooklyn cologne and it was not well received. He didnt say he didnt like it… he thought the bottle hot but what was inside he was unsure… I said ok… it’s cool gift receipts there in the box take it back…. So he goes out of town to Miami that Thursday to celebrate this milestone in his life and comes back late last Monday evening. We talk and I share what happened with my job. The next day (St. Patty’s) I am super hyped about the plans I have to go drink green beer and enjoy my friends, I even got off early.
So I go home change into something extra cute & green and head to the spot. I’m trying to set up my later plans of going to see him which I am thinking about 9 or 10. Well somewhere between text 15 and prolly 40 things go bad… he has told me that tonights not good and we will get together another day soon in addition I have girlfriends in my ear saying all sorts of things…. Im drunk, pissed, and for a lack of better words- hot and bothered & cant understand why this nagga is “tripping.” Im not thinking logically and refuse to see his side of things. I’m asking why not? What did I do? Why are you tripping? Not in one text but multiple texts. Then he finally hit’s me with we need to talk. I get scared…. still mad but scared.
Its about 10 I am saying my good byes… so my friend and I are leaving I am expressing my feelings on the situation and she says he probably dating someone else that’s why he doesn’t want you to come over. So in my drunken state this logic makes perfect sense… so I do the thing I would have never done if I was sober. I drive over… drunk and at least 20-25 min out of my way. My heart is racing and I am thinking- What if I see a car that looks like it could some biyotchs car? What am I gonna do? So Im feeling Billy Bada$s as I drive on the street (secretly praying that this nagga is not outside). I roll by the house and I see nothing but his car and his brothers. I feel really psycho and stupid. So I send a text apologizing for my actions earlier that day. No response….
I go home pass out for a few hours then wake up at 3 AM feeling like crap and unable to sleep. I wanna talk and apologize but I know it’s too late to call so I count sheep, watch tv, and fight back the pit thats in my stomach (prolly nausea from the alcohol). Daylight finally arrives and I am driving to work. I call and he answers. We talk and I assume all is well but it’s not cause on Thursday I get a text saying that the bday celebration plans I had needed to be rescheduled, partly due to Tuesday’s and also cause it was his cousins bday wknd & his homeboy was moving from Atlanta. He also tells me that he is not going to cut me off but that we needed to talk. Either way I was hurt…. so once again I prepare for this infamous f’ing talk! (GRRR) In the meantime I go on a date with a guy I met back in November who has popped back on the scene. He’s a club promoter from NYC with a rough edge… so different from I usually like, but hey I will roll with it. So we go to Cheesecake Factory and enjoy each others company he’s cool…
The next day, Friday, Im off from work I text Bailbondsman and suggest he come’s over after work. Surprisingly he does and I’m so expecting the talk and it doesnt happen… instead this confusing negro is talking about the plans that we have in July. Im like are you serious??? So I guess its done cause I sure didnt bring it up! But today as Im driving home from work I realize that he is part of the blame in my actions.. I’ve been beating myself down but in actuality if this mofo had been doing what he was suppose to then I wouldn’t have felt slighted and those bittered heifers words wouldn’t have gotten to me. So now I am pissed because I dont think he realizes that shat… and I dont know how I feel about him and this relationship… so I’m contemplating doing what a lot of men do when they in the wrong. Flip the script! For the last month this negro been acting some what shady and ish & I been making myself more available. As well as bending over backwards. The roles have been switched and he has forgotten who I am. So I’m putting him on ice and putting the fear of losing me in his heart. I will not call nor text him…. He will be forced to ponder where the heck I am and why I havent called/text. Now I will respond but I will respond to every other text and will not engage in lengthy text conversations. For the first time I’m about to make you understand my government name and who I am, because obviously you dont know…
So blog family Holly GoLightly has went back to lite multi-tasking with a soy chicken nugget in one hand and a skinny girl martini in the other (my version= ciroc/grey goose gimlet w/ 3 lime wedges)…. I have lost some weight fitting into things that once couldnt get ova the booty (or even skim the thights).. Its spring and I am in the A!!!
Good Morning Vietnam!!!
Well since my last post a lot has happened! I guess it would being that my last post was about 2 wks ago! Lol! Well for one its official between Bailbondsman and I- we’re exclusive. I’ve even stopped counting our dates because the frequency picked up!! Lol! We are currently avging about 4-5 days of seeing each other outta a week. My roster has def dwindled… I have maybe 2 people I speak with via phone but time has been going to him and my new love- the gym!! I’m telling I’m getting it together in that department! And not that I was overweight but I was complaining and not doing shat!! But I’m happy thus far, there are no complaints and it feels easy and free flowing. Def doesn’t feel pushed. He is so chill too compared to me- the over-the-top hyper chick. He is truly showing me what it means to just relax. He also relates well to my kids (my dogs- Mimi and Pedro). His first meeting with them was thursday! They barked of course and carried on with their whining for 75% of the time he was here but not once did he complain or say do they always do that. He accepted them and they little spoiled flaws. He saw my daily confirmations (what I need to do for the day, what not to do, bible verses) and didn’t question it. By the way this was his first time at Chez Holly! I guess he liked the digs cause he came back on Saturday! Lol! But he accepted me and didn’t come in asking why is this and what are these. It was what it was. We are still in the honeymoon phase but we def have discussed expectations, deal breakers, and bad habits- and we’re still bringing up things we may have forgotten. We also discuss our values and views on world issues. And because of our different careers we are able to teach each other diff things- although he’s pretty familiar with investing. So far I’m enjoying the view on this yacht and can’t wait for the first port that we dock. I’m pretty convinced representatives are packing up.
As for Mr. MBA he’s still we talk but not that much, mostly through IM or text…. he’s a really sweet person with a great sense of humor and amazing goals!! Don’t when date 2 will happen. He had to reschedule our last date…
So do tell any thoughts? Advice? Feelings?
So I promised myself after Mr. Isolation I would be extra careful who I allowed in my space especially my heart… it’s kinda hard though after meeting Mr. Bailbondsman. I am really feeling him and thinks he is a good person for me. I’ve always felt that the person you are with should make you want to be better… and for me he does that. I know its to early to be saying this is my husband and ish… but I think he is definitely boyfriend material. I know Comeback… I still need to multi-task until that becomes official, but I am really thinking about not mt’ing too hard that I miss out on this good thing (still figuring out what that means because I do like male attention- a lot). I am still learning him and his personality so I’m not gonna count the chickens before they hatch but he makes me feel good and I love the commonalities that we both share. I can’t wait to see what happens in our sitcome….’
P.S. Date 3 is happening this wknd- I will be cooking. So far I am thinking of preparing Dover Sole, probably some prawns, a rice dish or potato dish, and of course a vegetable. The dessert will consist of Key Lime Pie!
Any thoughts?? Any ideas?? I’m open and not easily hurt by comments 
First of all I guess I am doing a lot by even posting a second post in the same week… But I am just wondering if I am or would be doing the right thing by not contacting Mr. Bailbondsman at all… I mean we talk just about everyday either via text or phone. For some reason though I feel like I am setting a pattern of consistency and availablity… I dont wanna be the chick always available. Even though our conversations are still on the getting to know you side I still don’t want him to become bored of me. So is it wrong for me to see how long will it be before he calls me or will I be starting sabotage??
What are your thoughts? do tell…
So as always my weekend was pretty darn eventful! Heck it pretty much started on Thursday! I went out and partied and hung out with friends as usual, even stepped out the box a little… Thursday Mr. Isolation came into town… he has kinda taken a permanent leave of absence from his job so I guess he’ll be in Atlanta more but after today’s event I don’t care anymore, but Thursday was Secret Santa exchange at the job… everyone knows I love pink and apparently someone thought it was a good idea to give me pink stud earrings! Let me just say not a good look at all… but I wore them on Friday to show that I was appreciative. But I went out with Mr. Isolation on Thursday went to a spot that majority of everyone goes… we had an OK time… I guess. One guy approached me in his face, for some reason he thought about bucking the dude. Why, I don’t know as he has often reminded me- we aren’t together! But I think I really showed him in a way that my heart isn’t there anymore, there is a lot of distance there. I also met a guy there who seems pretty cool, I finally contacted him today because I didn’t give him my information and we spoke briefly. He is a Professor at both Emory and Strayer University, surprising because he looked really young, but I guess looks can be deceiving and only time will tell whether he will hang himself or not!
Fridays adventure consisted of getting together with some college friends. It was about 40 of us at a new lounge here! The best part about this night was that is was so warm so I was able to wear a little jumper that I had! Here’s one pic hopefully I will be able to find the rest there were at least a thousand taken by event photogs! This particular day Mr. LA and Mr. Isolation were in town- at the same time. Mr. LA was suppose to come through to the lounge but didn’t make it… Mr. Isolation did and he and I got into an argument- pretty bad from what I heard.. I don’t remember the details! But I ended up leaving that spot and going over to another spot that Mr. LA was and apparently my homegirl was rude to his friend and again I don’t know the details but Mr. LA made sure to tell me my homegirl was rude and that maybe she was having a bad night. I didn’t have the heart to tell him maybe your homeboy was lame! After leaving the spot from here I went home, Mr. LA was suppose to come over! I was kinda wasted though, I had soooo much to drink. But in preparation for him I left my door unlocked. At sometime I woke and saw Mr. Isolation at the foot of my bed. I think I went straight into panic mode- like WTF? Why are you here? Mr. LA is coming over- blah, blah, blah! I even called Mr. LA while Mr. Isolation was standing there to confirm his arrival to my house. Mr. Isolation left right after and I went back to sleep in my bed by myself. Which turned out to be good because I had to make a visit to the porcelain god due to my overindulgence! But tonight is the night I stepped outside of the box, I actually exchanged info with a guy wearing a grill and about 3 chains. I asked him for a card and surprisingly he had one that stated he was a jeweler specializing in you guessed it- GRILLZ!
So Saturday came! Boy talk about a headache! I went ahead and got up ran my errands, met my friend for lunch and started calculating my plans for this day. Tonight was the night I was suppose to get with Swagga 3000 we had talked but never mentioned the plans and I definitely decided in my mind it wasn’t gonna be me, but after my friend called wanting to get out I went ahead and asked him if we were still on. I was a little disappointed by his response but respected the honesty. He suggested that we should get together when he came back from the holidays because he was low on funds! I was ok with this because he could have just assumed that I was gonna foot the bill. So that’s what happened with that… and with the cancellation of those plans my friend and I ended up with Mr. Grillz and his crew at a club in VIP sipping on Champagne, Hennessey, and Corona’s. It was so hood and this nagga was soooo disrespectful! I think he might have hollered at almost every chick in the venue! After about an hour and half I couldn’t take anymore I left his trifling arse! He followed me out of the club too and couldn’t understand why I was pissed!! He thought he was well within his rights! I went home intoxicated and pissed. This night Mr. LA came over we didn’t get down with the get down but instead talked. He told me our situation wasn’t based on sex… all I could do was smirk…. he thinks his a$$holeish nature is okay too! So another night I went to sleep untouched.
Hallelujah its Sunday I am tired and all I wanna do is sleep, relax, and get ready for tomorrow. Instead I was getting ready for my friends boyfriends Christmas party and watching Alice in Wonderland. In hindsight I’m glad I went! I had a great time met two guys here a bail bonds man and another guy who didn’t tell me his occupation (should this be my clue?). Also Mr. Isolation popped up here 
it’s like he knows when I am vulnerable and other stuff. So he comes we laugh and he acts like Friday never happened, heck I guess I do too! And oh yeah Mr. Essence canceled on the plans talking about wait until after the holidays when I don’t have my daughter…. WTF? As if! DELETE
Today all heck breaks loose I find out this nagga (Mr. Isolation) has went on a vacay to St. Kitts with another female and has posted the pics onto Facebook….. W-T-F???? And when I call to rant and rave he just reminds me we aren’t in a relationship and that he is in his rights! After the series of events this wknd and especially today I have decided I am tired of hearing about everyone else’s rights and will definitely be making sure MY RIGHTS are known and understood. As for Mr. Isolation, the bridge was burned today…. it’s so hard to say good bye, but it’s easy to say hello to new beginnings.
My Friends and I on Friday!
So earlier this month I received the November issue of Essence with Beyonce on the cover via mail… Talking about excited because I was ready to hear about Bey and Jay and bask in some black love, especially since I don’t have any going on really of my own!! Anyway while flipping through I came across an article written about this guy who lived in Atlanta talking about how he has a hard time meeting women. That they don’t want a good guy, all they want are bad ones. And all the women he has met are gold diggers and etc. He was also saying that he know it wasn’t his approach because he was very respectful!! Astonished and wondering why the heck ain’t I ever met this negro!! I sent an email to the address they had for him! Of course you knew it was one Essence created! But first off this was my first time doing this but I was so intrigued and really wanted to know what is/was really wrong with him, because physically he is all together. So sent him an email asking where was he meeting this women and what was giving him this impression that they were gold diggers and etc. Well on Wednesday he responded!! At first I was like who the hell is this but I then saw in the subject line Re: Essence!! After that I responded and we went back and forth emailing. Today however he asked me to go to brunch on Sunday- my choice!!! Thinking about Murphy’s or Old Highland Bakery!
Coinkdikly Mr. LA text me asking about my day…. funny how naggas get the third eye…
I haven’t written in while but a lot has happened since the last post… I went to Charlotte saw both guys… actually had more fun Mr. Isolation and didn’t see Mr. LA until the day I left! WTF! Mr. Isolation and I have a very weird dynamic- it’s not always bad but when it is bad, it’s very bad. My main problem with him is his fear of commitment. I’ll be damned if I am going to play this pseudo-girlfriend role for another 3 years- yes I said 3 years. I feel after everything he and I have been through he should just naturally wanna give the single life bullshit up and be with me- for real. I use to feel like I was asking too much but freak that I have given too much into this part-time relationship. I swear I am working on the dear john eviction letter from my heart… it’s just taking some time. It’s like he knows when I am close to getting rid of his ass because he does something or says something that makes it a little harder to break the rope… But I gotta grow some balls and cut the shit loose cause it’s hazardous marked with a do not touch sign. And I am not trying to break this into 2009.
Mr. LA however is a fun, kiddish like person with some asshole tendencies. When I finally saw Mr. LA things were cool, but it was unexplainable. He feels like I ask too many questions and stress the situation more than I should; and that I don’t let it flow (found this out on his visit to Atlanta this past weekend). I don’t think I ask too many questions and I never ask him where you been and wher you going, but I may stress the situation a bit- only because I wanna get to know him and I feel like I may have screwed up when I screwed him . While he was here this weekend we talked and he said he liked me better when i wasn’t stressing and over-analyzing everything and being cocky… of course coming from him I took it as partial bullshit, but it did make me think about my actions and evaluate how I act/react in situations with guys. I mean I don’t want any guy to get the idea that I am trying to be wifed up tomorrow… I enjoy being single but I am swaying to wanting to be in a relationship, but not just any and not with just anybody.
So after a well enlightening conversation with my male BFF I decided it was time to get off my ass and get myself together before my 30th birthday… which is approximately a year and a half away. The first thing that came to mind was- How do I get myself together? Second, what is it that I would like to have ‘together’? Not that my life is peaches and cream and everything is flowing… but I needed to really think about what I wanted to have together. To start it off! I’m listing the accomplishments/goals and get-it-together’s I want to have by 2010! As I go along this journey I will cross out what I achieve and add new things that I think of!!
- Develop a real, genuine relationship with God- Because without him I am nothing!!! This includes finding a church home….
- Start the work on my MBA- We are taking the GMAT on Nov. 8!! Wish ya girl luck!!
- Develop a real, genuine relationship with a man- It’s been almost 8 to 9 years since my last relationship (where titles were involved). Lets face it, it’s time! Plus I just finished a 3 yr pseudo-relationship with Mr. Isolation
- Learn everything doesn’t have to be labeled- this is in reference mostly to #3! I’m learning that titles and labels don’t mean a damn thing!!! A wise women once told me- “there are people who treat marriage as if they are dating, when they get tired they feel they can “dump” their spouse…. and then there are people who treat dating like its marriage…”
- Get my financial house in order- enough said! We need to get the saving account to the healthy recommended balance! Create and expand the portfolio!
- Get myself ready for home ownership- ONLY IF THIS ECONOMY GETS BETTER!!!
- Get to know who my real friends are and keep them close to me!
- Make sure I am where I really want to be on the career ladder!
- Become more active- from physical fitness to community activism!
- START MY LEGACY!!!- What do I want to be known for???
With all these things looming over my head I should have a well productive year and a half ahead of me!!!
